Trust. This keeps coming back up. I’m learning to trust the Lord at deeper levels and give Him access to more of myself in the process. But, something new He’s showing me is how to trust myself, Raina. You see, I know I am a trustworthy person: loyal, committed, dependable, responsible. But, I often don’t trust myself to make decisions. Especially ones that affect my future. I have always tried to stay within God’s will and sought that out in my life. I’ve prayed and asked the Lord what to do or to confirm a decision I’m making. And, He’s a good Father and has answered me and confirmed my choices in various ways.
But, I’m learning that even more than seeking out the will of God, I am the will of God. Me: Raina Christ. He chooses me to partner with Him to accomplish His will. In the earlier stages of my faith, He gave me more confirmation and guided me more closely. But, as I mature in my faith, I feel Him unleashing more freedom over me to make my own decisions without having to get confirmation every time or have Him spell it out for me. He sometimes presents us with multiple options that are good and lets us choose and He promises to go with us and bless our decision.
As our hearts and minds transform to reflect His, His will becomes ours and His thoughts become ours. For it is His Spirit that is within us. Now, I’m not advocating that we stop seeking out His heart and input. Just that we can trust our thoughts, desires, and hearts. God trusts us more than we trust ourselves. He says we’re equipped, chosen, and ready but sometimes we struggle to believe this. We reach out to hold His hand but He lets go so that we can walk on our own. He’s given us free will from the beginning and He continues to give us more and more freedom as we grow in our love and trust in Him. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17) We advance from right vs wrong to life vs death. Will this choice bring me/others life or death? Does my Spirit desire this and have a peace about it? Have I heard the Lord say anything in favor or against this? What is my motivation behind doing this?
As a parent slowly relinquishes control over their child as they mature and allows them to make decisions for themselves, so the Lord does with us. Because He trusts us with more and more, we learn to trust ourselves. He doesn’t have to tell us step-by-step anymore since we have the Holy Spirit in us, guiding us and interceding for us. He doesn’t want us paralyzed in fear or passively waiting for yet another sign but He commands us to step out in faith and make a decision, trusting the mind and heart He’s given us. We still seek His face and listen to Him and obey when He prompts. But, we also have to put on our big boy/girl clothes and take action, knowing we can’t fail as He will grow us and teach us through whatever we choose.
Ponder on this for a second: the God of the universe trusts me! He desires my input and chooses to accomplish His will with and through me. That’s pretty crazy amazing!
My name is Raina and I trust myself.
“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”
??ROMANS? ?8:26-27?
Such a wonderful message Raina. It is well to remember that the word inspired means, to be filled with the spirit. Meaning our inspirations and aspirations come from spirit. He gives these to us to better express who we were meant to be, with his help. In this way our desire and his desire for us, are one. Even our discontent is a spur to action more in line with our callings. And our free will (his trust in us) is a gift.
Loving you, missing you!!!!!
In reading I too need to work more on trusting myself. I find myself hesitant with his Word or even at times intimidated. I get anxiety internally when I’m asked to pray out loud. I wonder if it’s my trust that I need to work on per your blog or my relationship with God. I know that what I do is not enough and just as you have I need to continue to learn, apply and teach….maybe then I will have trust in myself that is guided more by the holy spirit than fear.