Constant

Oh Lord as I’m tossed about by the wind and seas

You remind me that although my circumstances threaten to overwhelm me 

You are here

With me

In the storm

All is well

For you never change

You are my ever-present help

My refuge, my safe place 

When I lose focus and get distracted by the waves threatening to consume me

I start to sink

Down, down, down into the murky water

I panic and wonder if I might drown

All my fears and worries weighing me down 

Will this be it? The straw that breaks the camel’s back?

Can I survive even this?

As I get pummeled by wave after wave 

I start to suffocate with anxiety 

I despair and lose hope 

I can’t see a way out 

I need to get to the surface 

To breathe 

Just breathe 

That’s what you remind me 

That I’m a fighter and you’re with me 

And your Spirit is in me

And so I won’t capsize so easily

No, I will give it all I’ve got 

Bolting to the surface 

I gulp in air 

Breathe deep

Of You

Of your love

Your Enough-ness

Your Presence with me

Soothing me 

Holding me

I am anchored 

The storm can rage and I might falter 

But you remain here with me

And you call me steadfast 

So I will cling to you and let this trial root me deeper in you

I will come sleep with you in the boat 

I will be full of hope

When I can’t see one foot in front of me 

And all looks grim 

And I’m wobbly on my feet

Rocked back and forth 

I will fix my eyes on you

And then I am home 

Out in this wilderness, all alone 

But no, I’m not alone

For you didn’t forget me

And this storm doesn’t surprise you

And this won’t be the death of me

No, on the contrary

You are using this to breathe new life into me 

To transform me, to awaken me to more of you 

To birth something new in me 

Even as other things die

A resurrection 

Breakthrough 

Oh Lord, I want you to change my circumstances 

But I need you to change me 

You are always faithful 

I remember 

All the times in the past you steadied me and came through 

Why would this be different?

You haven’t changed

You’re still the same 

Yesterday, today, and forever

Good, gracious, compassionate 

Provider, Strong Tower, Father 

I lean back

Lay my head on your chest 

Drift off to sleep to the ebb and flow of the waves rocking the boat 

Back and forth 

Back and forth 

I can claim peace, hope, joy, faith 

These are my weapons 

And I will not be denied 

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living 

Abundance is possible 

Even in this 

Even now

So I sit at the table in the presence of my enemies 

And I feast 

For He is here 

He is good 

And He is constant