Hidden in His love

I feel trapped. Like I’m stuck in a place I didn’t choose and I can’t get out. A prisoner of sorts. I recently moved to Georgia and started a new job, for which I am extremely grateful, but I feel like I’m going through the motions and just existing day to day. Surviving, not thriving. I question God, “Is this really what you have for me?  This?  Here?  I didn’t sign up for this.”  Moving to a new city should be exciting as you meet new people and see new sights. But, I feel isolated and lonely.  My soul desperately desires face-to-face interaction with friends and hugs and just connection that is real and not manufactured over a screen. I am very thankful for technology and the amazing ways we have to stay in touch in this modern age during this crisis. But nothing substitutes for in-person connection. And this extroverted single girl is struggling. 

I’m sure you feel similar and may have even worse struggles and hardships in this time.  If no one’s told you lately, I just want to say, “I see you. I’m with you. You are loved, not forgotten. And you are enough. And you WILL get through this, stronger and more whole.”  I wanted to share a revelation from the Lord I had while facetiming a dear friend of mine.

The Lord showed me that I’m in a COCOON and that I’m looking around me at this dark encasing and it’s hard to see and it’s cramped in here and I feel trapped and I can’t really move around and it seems like I’ve been here foreverrrrr…

But, He has a different perspective. He said that I’m not ready yet to be released. That the time has not yet come. The Lord’s timing is mysterious but always right. “When the time had fully come, God sent his Son…” (Galatians 4:4)  He told me gently that I still need time for my legs and wings to get stronger and more developed and that in order for me to soar high above as a graceful butterfly, I must trust His process and His timing. It won’t do to rush Him as He only has my best interest at heart and He can see the whole picture whereas I can only see in part. 

Just as in the cocoon, the caterpillar has everything it needs to survive for days on end, I have everything I need to survive and even thrive during this season. As a fetus relies on its mother to supply its nutrients and shelter in the uterus and worries not about the coming delivery, I can rely on the Lord and know that he’s equipped me and is sustaining me during this pandemic, however long it lasts. I have a choice. I choose what to focus my thoughts upon. I can focus on my circumstances and what I lack and how everything would be okay if ____ would change. Or I can ponder His goodness and the blessings all around me such as: sunshine, friends checking in on me, virtual chats, ample food/ shelter/ clothing, job with income, time to read and spend with the Lord, etc. 

I believe the Lord is birthing something new in each one of us during this quarantine season and that it will spring forth out of us at the proper time. That He is molding us and re-shaping us through these circumstances and we won’t be the same at the end of it. That we can be creative with our time and give ourselves away to bless others. That we will more closely reflect Christ as a result of passing through the fire of COVID-19 and we will come out with not even a hair singed on our head. That things we formerly took for granted will be treasured and appreciated and that we will choose to invest quality time into those we love and people we come in contact with. That the Body of Christ will be ever-expanding and more closely connected than ever before and Holy Spirit will breathe afresh on us and we will each hear His voice clearly and be bold to speak out what He’s saying. That a fire would IGNITE in each one of us that cannot be quenched and we would bring heaven to earth with each holy step we take. That the Lord will complete what He started in us and His will shall be done. So, take heart, dear one, for the Lord is with you and goes before you and He is good and you are loved. 

“Take courage my heart

Stay steadfast my soul

He’s in the waiting

He’s in the waiting

Hold onto your hope

As your triumph unfolds

He’s never failing

He’s never failing”

-From “Take Courage”-

“And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings

Bear you on the breath of dawn

Make you to shine like the sun

And hold you in the palm of His Hand”

-From “On Eagle’s Wings”-