Fresh Manna

What is happening that’s exciting in my life?  What is the Lord doing?  What’s new to share, you ask?

 

Lately, I’ve come to dread this question. And I hate that I dread it because I get frustrated with  myself that I’m not BURSTING with stories of God’s goodness, testimonies, revelations, and passion that I can’t contain as I’ve done in seasons past. I’ve realized I tend to be the person people come to for encouragement in their faith as I typically am overflowing with testimonies of what the Lord is actively doing in my life.  And I love being that person. And when I’m not active in that, I start to resent those who are zealous for the Lord and brimming with passion and stories of recent breakthroughs and revelations because I want that. And, I get frustrated with myself that I’m not living up to my full potential. That I’m surviving on old manna instead of feasting on fresh manna daily from His hands. 

 

So, why am I not brimming with testimonies of the Lord’s faithfulness/ working/ goodness in my life?

 

Honestly, because I’m not looking for them and not prioritizing time with Him and have gotten caught up in the rat race of work and the distractions of everyday life.  

 

I’ve always struggled with balance and that beautiful and mysterious word REST. I definitely have workaholic tendencies and lately I feel that my weeks are:

Wake Up, Traffic, Work, Traffic, Sleep, Repeat. 

 

And, it honestly is mostly that. BUT GOD, haha. I still have this hunger in me, this jealousy of those who are really going after it with the Lord because that is my heart’s desire: to be OVERWHELMED by Him and His Faithfulness/Goodness/Love, instead of being overwhelmed by monotony/distractions/fear/hopelessness/dullness/ and my circumstances.  

 

So, what shall I do?

 

Well, unfortunately there’s no quick fix. It’s really all about relationship and seeking out the Lord in my free time and also throughout the day.  Lately, I’ve become slack at renewing my mind.  I feel myself getting stuck in fear/ apathy/ worry/hopelessness/discouragement/anger/envy etc.  I have let my eyes drift away from Jesus and instead of walking on water as He’s empowered and created me to do, I am sinking slowly down, down, down. Don’t worry! My head’s still above water but I’m not living in the fullness of the Kingdom reality that is mine. Lackluster is how I’d describe it: lacking in vitality, force, or conviction; uninspired or uninspiring.  

 

It’s insane, really. How can I be uninspired by the One who inspires all things?  It’s clearly a Me problem, not a Him problem because the Lord is Amazing and Glorious and Endlessly Inspiring. 

 

So here’s me preaching to myself:

Ways to stir up my Passion and Faith:

 

*Stop focusing on the Lack/ Obstacles/ Circumstances and Shift my Gaze to Jesus and His Love and Faithfulness to Keep His Promises and the Hope I have for a future that is better than I could dream of

*Surround myself with others who are chasing after the Lord and seeking first His kingdom and be mutually encouraged

*Reflect on Past Testimonies/ Faithfulness of the Lord

*Meditate on His Word

*Sit in His Presence and just Be and Listen to His Whispers and Be loved by Him

*Worship and Praise Him just because to realign my Heart

*Listen to Prophets and Testimonies and Speakers to build up my faith, elevate my perspective to what’s happening in the heavenly realm, and receive teaching/ impartation 

*Declare things that are not as though they were 

*Read/ Listen to old prophecies

*Step out in obedience when the Holy Spirit prompts 

*Seek to encourage and build others up

*Get outside into Nature where everything speaks of God and my peace is restored

*Focus on the truths of who God is and My Identity

*Invite others into my mess and don’t try to go it alone

*Have accountability partners

*Do the hard/ scary things and get outside of my comfort zone

I leave you with this from Brian Simmons (Author of The Passion Translation and Lover of God):

 

“The call of God burning in your heart today is more than just a desire to ‘do something’ for God. It is the uncontainable, unstoppable passionate longing to meet with the Lover of your soul and hear HIS heartbeat for your life. Here is the prayer of awakened desire:

Draw me into your heart and lead me out,

We will run away together—

Into Your cloud-filled chamber!

Song of Songs 1:4 TPT”

 

[emphasis mine]