Who will you choose?

So, I can’t really put into words all that has transpired in the past initial 2 weeks at G42. However, suffice to say: the Lord is here and the Holy Spirit is DOING A NEW WORK.  We have been told by staff that our class is moving at a rapid pace and the Holy Spirit is going very deep very fast, quicker than the normal timeframe. Honestly, I am overwhelmed at times but in the best kind of uncomfortable way.  And, us newbies don’t know any different. This two weeks is all we know of G42 and sometimes, I think I’ve gotten in over my head (actually a lot of times…) but that’s the best place to be, really. I am told to just BE and RECEIVE. No striving, only abiding. And, man, am I receiving some things!  Wisdom and impartation and healing and deep-seated lies that have controlled me for years are being dug up. And, I am just trying to take hold of what is being thrown at me, but I feel like I’m just grasping at straws sometimes. But, I’m realizing that when I’m in DEEP waaaaayyyy over my head is when the Lord can do the most work and transformation in me. It shows me my desperate need for Him and dependency on Him. I have to trust Him to put the pieces together for me and in me, in His timing. I want to control it and usher in breakthrough and healing for myself, but it’s not up to my plan (Thank God!), just His perfect one.  I just have to SHOW UP, be present, and be open to receive whatever He has for me and then chew on it, process it alone with Him, and refill in His presence so I’m ready for the next session.

Additionally, I’m learning that yes, the Lord works in us at His pace but He often waits for us to CHOOSE IN. To make a decision and take a step in faith, trusting that He’ll meet us there. He says in James 4:8, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”  The Holy Spirit is a gentleman. He won’t force Himself upon us. He will prompt, convict, advise, guide, and console us but He will go only so far as we let Him. We make a choice everyday, every moment really, of whether we will listen to Him or tune Him out. To obey His promptings even if it costs us, or to ignore Him. To press in or to run away. He gives us a lot of say in how we want our relationship with Him (the Lord) to be. He waits patiently for us every second to press into Him and invite Him into our space. To stop and ask Him what He thinks of the situation or emotion we’re dealing with. Or just to simply ask, “What do YOU want me to do or say in this situation?”  “What would you have me read from the Word this morning?” “What is YOUR agenda for me today?” He’s in us. We’re ONE FLESH with the Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead! What?!! He is accessible always as long as we have Jesus in our hearts.

But, often I ignore Him and decide to do things my own way, without asking for His input. But, still, He waits and waits and waits. And once I refocus on Him and invite Him in, He rushes in and whispers His thoughts to me, tenderly comforts me, convicts me of sin for my good, and advises me in His all-knowing wisdom.  It’s not that He was distant or silent or went away on a trip for a hot second. He was there all along; He’s here, now, in this moment. But, it’s my CHOICE if I’m going to commune with Him or if I will decide to go it alone. This world is hard and dark and uncertain but “take heart for I have overcome the world,” says Jesus (John 16:33). We don’t have to be or stay afraid, alone, anxious, stressed, downtrodden, or rejected. We are free to choose. Either to let our emotions, worries, and fears overtake us and stew on it and repeat the lies (“I’m not enough.”  “I don’t belong.” “No one would care if I wasn’t here anymore.” “I’m not worthy of love.” “I’m dying inside and no one even notices or cares.”) and try to go it alone.

OR to let God in, ask Him what HE thinks of us, speak truths from scripture concerning our identity over ourselves, cast out the lies in the name of Jesus, opt to PRAISE our Lord instead of dwelling on our circumstances or trial, and to shift our eyes off of ourselves and onto God.  David says in Psalm 42:5, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” He’s literally talking to his spirit and saying essentially, “Man up. Remember who your God is. Yeah, it’s grim and it’s freakin hard. But, I will CHOOSE today to praise my Loving Father and trust that He will comfort me and see me through this trial and use this trial for my good and His glory. For growth and sanctification, for removing the flesh (old self) and making room for the new, refined, who-I-really-am self to be formed.” Because, guys, we have a CHOICE to make, everyday, every moment. To choose ourselves or to choose God. Joshua 24:15 says, “…Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”  

We, as Christ followers, are temples of the Holy Spirit; Jesus lives in our hearts.  We are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19). He’s knocking at the door of our hearts, gently, waiting for us to open up and let Him in. Into our hearts, our thoughts, our spirits, our everything. The deepest parts of us. He loves us just the same, no matter our response to His persistent pursuit. But His heart aches when we shut Him out or ignore Him, because He longs to comfort us in our pain, heal our brokenness, hold us in a warm embrace, and calm our weary soul.  He only has GOOD for His beloved children. And, we easily get caught up in this rat race of life in the world.

But, today, I’m asking you to STOP, just for a minute. Evaluate your relationship with the Lord and if you’re choosing in. To what He’s speaking to you (via the Word, nature, encounters, people, personal prayer, etc); to His extravagant, all-encompassing love; to His omniscient wisdom; and to His plans for you for this day.

The Lord is inviting you to go deeper, to step out of the boat (and walk on water!!), and to invite Him in. Because, after all, each day is composed of a myriad of choices. And, He wants to be part of it all. And, there’s only one person stopping Him: you, me, us. So, what will it be? He’s leaving it up to you, dearest. But know this: He’ll meet you every time, step for step. The decision is yours. I’m begging you to choose: Freedom over chains, Truth over lies, Life over death, Love over fear, Jesus over yourself.  It’s worth it, I promise. He always is.