When you just aren’t feeling it

So, this month I have been a little “off.” The 8 month slump, you could call it. I just don’t have my typical energy, motivation, or joy. I am in tropical, amazing Belize. And it’s great. So the timing is super ironic. But yet, it’s the truth. I honestly don’t know exactly why I’ve been in a funk.

Excuses come to mind for sure:

-I’m doing manual labor and I don’t love that kind of ministry

-I’m with two teams so I feel overwhelmed and left out

-I have been sleeping in and not doing quiet times in the morning or consistently (this has the most validity)

-in the beginning, I blamed it on jet lag from traveling across the world

-it’s month 8 and I’m just tired of the Race and don’t wanna do it all with excellence anymore

So maybe it’s all of these or none of these. I don’t know exactly. But I do know that I don’t want to stay in this place. I know all the textbook answers of how to get out of the pit:

-read the Word

-pray a lot

-listen to what God has to say

-have friends speak truth over you and encourage you

-journal about it

-focus on the good things and be grateful for those

It’s hard to do all these when you’re just not feeling it, you know? I mean, from a bystander’s point of view, my life is easy peasy. I freakin travel around the world and get to experience different cultures and I get back more than I give out. I’m a missionary, for crying out loud. I must have it together, right? Haha. WRONG.

So here’s where I preach to myself.

“Get it together. You only have 3 more months. Are you gonna waste it or are you gonna give it your all and grab ahold of everything the Lord has for you?? This is the journey of a lifetime and people would kill to be where you are right now, hot and sweaty and surrounded by people who are chasing after Jesus. Don’t you see? If Satan can get you down and inhibit you from reaching your full potential, then he’s won. And the Lord doesn’t want that for you. Every moment is a choice to choose flesh or choose Spirit. So choose life abundant. Choose the hard thing. Choose to get back up again and fight. Fight for quiet time, to pursue others, to sacrifice yourself daily, to develop in your giftings. Because you only have Today, after all. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. And the World Race is a pressure cooker for spiritual growth. So, what are you waiting for? Go sit with the Lord. Ask Him the hard questions. Bring others into this and have them intercede for you. Because Satan’s scared of your potential. And he wants to get you down. But Christ didn’t die so that you could hide out on the bleachers and let moments pass you by. Get in the game! Your gifts and uniquely crafted soul are needed in the body. So, push through and strive to find the joy in every moment. Because you won’t get that moment back. And the harvest is plenty and the workers are few. And the Body needs you. So, what are you waiting for?”

Well, who wouldn’t be revved up after that speech? Wowza. Yeah, so if you’re feeling anything like I have this past month, a lil pep talk isn’t gonna magically fix it all for you. But it’ll sure help to motivate. And then you have to decide, day by day, to confront the apathetic and lazy tendencies and tell them to “shove it” for the sake of Christ. Dig in and ask God what the root of the apathy is and then do something about it and obey as He leads, even if you’re essentially faking it at first. Because we don’t have time to waste. People are perishing and the lost are hopeless and somebody’s gotta tell them; somebody’s gotta be the Light and it might as well be you and me, am I right?! Let’s not miss out on all God has for us because we chose convenience and laziness and comfort and excuses and distraction over Him and the works He prepared in advance for us to do. Let’s get out there and do the thing!

So, as pumped up as I am after writing this blog, I just wanna be real. This is gonna be hard and the last thing you wanna do if you’re deep in the pit of apathy. And that’s okay. Give yourself grace but also pick up your feet and start walking toward Jesus. One. Step. At. A. Time. It’ll get easier. You might fall but get back up. Ask Him to help you and be your strength and encouragement. He wants the best for you and He’s fighting for you harder than you’re fighting for yourself. He has good things in store. But you have to take ahold of them and choose IN. Then watch what He will do. He loves to bless obedience, y’all. And when he blesses, it’s GOOD.

Love,

A slightly off track Jesus follower