Transition Home: Re-entry ain’t no joke

So, as most of you know, I returned home from this adventure of a year December 2nd.  And, re-entry, as it’s fondly called, is a little rough. Re-adjusting to American culture and society after a year of being absent is hard. Don’t get me wrong. I have missed the comforts and the advanced technology/ gadgets and the endless OPTIONS and my family and friends. I love the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want and pack as much as I want in my car. To even have a car at all.  I’m beyond grateful for: good brewed coffee, snuggly pajamas, wifi everywhere, toilets where you can flush the toilet paper, hot showers, endless supply of water, and catch-ups with friends.

But, the lack of close-knit community that I’ve grown accustomed to this year is tough. And, people not really understanding what I’m going through or that I may be overwhelmed with American culture and can’t just slide back in like I would into a DM. I mean, I lived 30 years in America so I should be used to it, I guess. But, this was one transformative year where the Lord worked a lot in me and I’m just not the same person I was before. I may seem like it and I sometimes question if I’ve really changed at all. But, I know I have, even if it’s not readily apparent to those around me. So, below I’ll share some things I’m learning as I try to readjust to life in America. One thing I know, in all this, the Lord is my one true constant. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. And, He’s the same God who worked in and through me all year long and He’s not done yet.  The best is yet to come!

1. Community won’t be like it was on the Race. But, community IS what you make it. Keep loving people and pursuing them. Get plugged into a church or bible study. Find people to hold you accountable.  Fight for community because the Acts 2 church can be created anywhere, not just on the Race.

2. You MUST fill up with the Lord daily so that you can effectively pour out. People will try your patience, you will be easily frustrated by things that didn’t bother you before, and you will be misunderstood. It is hard. But, we are called to be loved first so that we can BE love. It’s harder now as we don’t have like-minded squadmates around us to cheer us on and empower us to make God a priority. But, He wants the firstfruits of your time and He will make sure everything that needs to get done does during your day if you give Him the prime slot at the start of it.  I find that I have a “peace that transcends all understanding” when I spend time with Jesus first thing that helps me be at ease all day and love others well.

3. Grace. Grace upon grace. It’s tempting to adopt a spirit of judgment and condemnation of others back here in America who just don’t get it. Sometimes, internally, I honestly want to grab people’s shoulders and shake them around a bit in hopes that they would finally understand my perspective and the wisdom I’ve gleaned this year. But, alas, I must battle this as I’m just as broken and messed up as the next Joe Blow. So, I’m learning to extend grace to others and to myself. After all, Jesus bestows grace on me and I’m certainly so undeserving. And, He calls me to do the same for others.  I can’t expect people to understand my perspective when they haven’t experienced the World Race like me this year. But, I can be the light and love them where they’re at.

4. Processing the Race and Re-entry is different for everyone, and that’s okay.  I seek out others’ wisdom but, in the end, I have to figure it out for myself. Pressing into the Lord and spending time with Him and processing with Him should be a priority.  Oftentimes, I avoid processing. Or, I feel guilty if I spend time doing it, because I should be doing something else. And, others likely view it as me just sitting down for hours and “wasting” time.  And, that’s tough. Because, I want others’ approval, I do. Especially those close to me. This leads into #5.

5. I have to surrender my reputation fully to the Lord and only seek to please Him. This is a daily struggle for me, currently.  But, definitely necessary growth and beautiful lesson to learn at a deeper level.  Some of my close friends and family don’t agree with all my decisions or future plans. And, that stings a bit.  I want them to approve of me and what I choose to do with my life. I want to make them proud. I want everyone to love me and think the best of me.  But, in this transition phase, I am learning that you can’t please everyone and you can’t make them understand. And, that’s okay. That instead of trying to make them see it my way, I should just seek out the Lord and what He wants for me. And then, just do it. In spite of what others may think. Boldly and courageously. As Christ followers, we’re called to deny ourselves and surrender it all at His feet. And, that includes what people think of me and how I’m perceived.  We are called to be in the world but not of the world. Set apart. Different. Holy. Other. We shouldn’t make sense to the world. They shouldn’t be able to fit us into their mold. The world’s mindset can’t comprehend the ways of the Spirit.  And often, the church, doesn’t even understand it. If Jesus, the Son of God, perfect and sinless, was betrayed and misunderstood and hated and ridiculed and mercilessly murdered, then why should I expect to have everyone like me, accept me, and applaud me?  Am I not following in His footsteps? I am seeking now to please only my Audience of One, the Lord. It’s a fight and it’s not always fun, but it’s so worth it.

6. Ministry is life and life is ministry. Truly. Every interaction with another human, believer or not, is a ministry opportunity. So, yeah, I may not have a ministry set-up sheet or be traveling the world doing missions, BUT I’m still a missionary wherever my feet are planted, right here, right now. I am called to be a light in the darkness, minister to members of the Body, disciple, encourage, use my spiritual gifts, fight in prayer, evangelize: doing ALL things for the glory of God. The Lord’s taught me a lot this year. I’ve seen and experienced things that many Americans haven’t. It’s my duty and privilege to impart my wisdom to others with gentleness and respect, always ready to give a reason for the hope I have (1 Peter 3:15). There’s a hurting world out there and people need to hear the truth of God’s love. And, let me be honest. That’s hard, in the US with our politically correct, argument-prone, truth is relative, guards up culture. Much harder than anywhere I’ve been this year.  People here have usually already heard the gospel and they aren’t receptive to it and put up walls real quick. But, if I don’t speak up and tell them about Jesus’ love for them and that it’s a relationship not religion, then who will? I need to be in tune with the Spirit and obedient to His nudgings just as much here as on the mission field. Heck, right here is a mission field. So many Americans, Christians or not, are caught up in the ways of the world and the living, breathing Acts 2 church is hard to find. But, we are called to BE the church. And that starts with loving people where they’re at and pouring out the love we’ve received from the Lord. I need to abide in Christ, soak up His love, and then go out and share it with everyone in my path. After all, they don’t need Raina. They need Jesus.

7. The Lord is just as present and active in our lives now as He was on the Race. He’s the same God who moved on the Race in and through us and He’s not done with us now. In fact, He’s just getting started!  We may have more distractions, worries, and doubts but He’s still the same. He hasn’t changed. He’s still speaking, moving, and preparing good things for us.  The only thing that has changed is us. He’s constant; He never changes. So, we may not have tight community or people around us who “get it” without having to justify or explain ourselves. But, we still have Jesus. And, He’s still good.

8. We have changed and we are different people than when we started the Race. It’s easy to start to believe that we haven’t changed a bit when we slip back into pre-Race habits and culture.  Our flesh comes out when we’re around family and friends and they may not be able to notice any transformation. And, that sucks.  I want to scream it to my family and close friends: I have changed. Can’t you see?  I’m different now. I hear His voice clearer.  I know my giftings and have grown in them. I speak differently.  I think differently. I’m more like Jesus.  But, I’m learning it doesn’t matter what “they” think.  It only matters what my Father says. And He knows the truth.   Yeah, I may slip back into old patterns and lose my temper and say hateful things. But, that’s not who I am anymore.  That’s just my flesh coming out.  And, this is a high-stress season with re-adjusting to American culture and trying to figure out my future and feeling isolated from those in my immediate vicinity. But, I can choose to fight it and to battle against my flesh and take my thoughts captive and receive constructive feedback with grace and ask God to help me.  I know we are coming under serious attack from the Enemy as he would like nothing more than to discourage us from continuing to seek after God with our whole heart, mind, soul, and strength.  And, he may get us down for a moment or so. But, we will not be deterred. We will armor up for battle and we will defeat him because Christ already secured the victory. So, yeah. I am changed. I am redeemed. I am transformed. I am HIS.

9. He’s in the WAITING. This season can be overwhelming and induce anxiety and worry. What do I do next?  Yeah, I’ve taken a year off and traveled the world but, now what? Now, I need to finish school or get a “real” job or come up with some program to enroll in. Constantly getting battered with questions about our future plans. It’s exhausting and it wears us down.  We wanna just settle on something so we have some answer to give when the questions inevitably arise.  Guilt trips for not having a job right away and how it “must be nice” to be able to sit at home all day and do nothing.  Clarification: processing, investing in friends/ family, time with Jesus, job searches, sorting through clothes/ mail, resting, and the like is not “wasting time” or “doing nothing.” Just so we’re clear.  But, as a wise friend once said, “It’s better to wait around on the Lord for 6-12 months and then have a clear direction for your life and do what you love and He’s calling you to than to rush into a job you don’t enjoy and then realize 5-6 years later that you want to do something else and wish you could’ve gotten the time back.” (I paraphrased that). And, after all, doesn’t the Lord do His best work in us during these seasons of waiting??  Can I get an Amen??  Because, we are forced to trust in Him and lean on Him and surrender our plans, desires, and hopes to Him. He uses everything for our good, especially trials and hard seasons. Maybe, He can’t bring you to what He has next for you until He teaches you and molds you in this difficult season of waiting.  Let the world think what it wants, but let’s resolve to be strong and take heart and WAIT on the Lord.

That’s all for now, friends.  If you have any more questions about my Race, Re-entry, or my future plans for G42, don’t hesitate to reach out!  Love y’all!

One thing I know, God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

Merry Christmas!

Love love love,

Raina