(must be read in a British accent to get the full effect) 

So I was sitting upon the roof contemplating life. A bat flew over my head; it swooped very closely and swiped a single hair from my brow. As I turned in surprise just in time to see this bat take off with my eyebrow hair, I thought “Such is life.” Whether from a bat, an eagle, a hawk, or a pteradactyl, your eyebrow hairs are bound to be lost by avian creatures above. Such is life. Do not be fooled by the beauty of such feathered creatures as these. One moment, you're full browed, the next you have one less hair to protect the god-given eyes above your nose. But please take heart, you will come to find you can live your life with one less eyebrow hair than you previously thought possible. So please, take heart. With Jesus, all things are possible. Every good gift comes from the Lord. But the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Through the storm, a golden glimpse of the sun peaks between the clouds. With less brow, your sight will become stronger; as you gaze up at the sky, starlight will fill your eyes.

Credit to my amazing teammate Jess who is pretty dreamy herself