Chasing down the One: pursuing others when it’s hard

So, the Lord’s been teaching me about pursuit. Pursuit of others when it’s hard. When you don’t get much back in return. When you are tempted to give up hope that the relationship will ever be what you desire. When you are filled with bitterness, frustration, anger, deflated hopes, disappointment, and grief. When you just wanna quit. And you’re sure that if you do, they wouldn’t notice anyway so what’s the big deal? When you feel that your desperate prayers to the Lord aren’t being answered and you think maybe He doesn’t really care. This could be family or friends. People in your life for a season or for the long haul. People you choose to include in your life and those you don’t.

When I’m sure that the Lord’s asking me to love them as He does, then I know I must love them WELL. No matter the cost. No matter if I receive anything in return. Because that’s what Jesus does for us. And if I’m following Him, then isn’t it natural I would imitate him? He never chose the easy route, so why should I? And He certainly never gave up on me and will never stop pursuing me, so I can’t quit. And, in the process, if I am the only one who changes for the better, then isn’t that enough? After all, I’m striving to become more like Him. And I can only affect my actions and behavior. So, that’s where I must start. If He leaves behind the 99 to chase down the 1, then I must do the same.

And it’s not okay just to pursue those who reciprocate and who are easier to pursue. No, He calls me to pursue the ones who are hard to love. Who may never thank you or respond or acknowledge your efforts. Because, by pursuing them, maybe you will impact them positively, even if you never know or get to reap the benefits. It’s worth it, even if it costs us our pride, peace, and emotional stability. And you know, the Lord is in the business of answering prayers. He blesses persistence and humble, heartfelt pleas. And, maybe, just maybe, He’ll show up and do more than you ever asked or imagined to reconcile your relationships. He does like to show off 😉

So, recently, I started praying circles around my family and friends. I didn’t have high hopes for dramatic change but I was trying to start being the prayer warrior I was called to be and start praying daily. I felt convicted that I wanted all this change in my close relationships but I had never fought for them in prayer consistently. Or when I did, it was often from a bitter place and was selfish in nature. So I determined to pray for closer bonds but also just for their good in general. I went into it okay with not receiving any additional reciprocation but just asking the Lord to bless them and encourage them. I’ve learned that nagging my family and friends and trying to guilt trip them into loving me better doesn’t work. I mean, I know they love me. I just don’t always feel loved.

So, I decided to just love on them, and expect nothing in return. Have I done this consistently or well? Not really. But the Lord has taken my measly efforts and prayers and already come through. He’s done some miracles for me within my family and friends. Things I’ve been praying about for months or just for the past 30 days. Super gracious of the Lord and He’s showing me that He does answer impossible prayers but He wants us to be faithful to pray consistently and to believe that He will come through. And also to still pursue even when it’s hard and you get no response or worse yet, you receive a harsh reaction. Because He will bless it. You never know when or how. But know that He loves you and them more than you do. And He’s in the business of restoring families and friendships.

So, I don’t know how your family dynamics and interpersonal relationships are. Or if you’ve given up hope. And stopped praying. Or never even started. But, my encouragement to you is: pray DAILY. Fight on your knees for your family and friends and for heart change in yourself to love them better and to discard any anger, bitterness, or despair. Because Satan loves to tear families and people apart. But Our God is stronger. And He is faithful. Reach out to them even if you risk getting a slap in the face or a cold shoulder. Try again. And again. Pray for chains to be broken. For reconciliation. For heart change. For salvation. For intimacy with the Lord. For transformation in yourself.

Realize that your prayers are eternal; they outlive even you. That’s powerful. And God hears you. You may be the reason someone is healed, saved, or drawn closer to Jesus. And your relationship with them just might be strengthened in the process. So, don’t give up hope. On them. On God. On yourself. Because God is working. And He graciously lets us be a part of the miracle.  So we have to dream big and pray bigger. Circle your family and friends in prayer and steadfast love. Do your best to love them as Jesus does and then step back and leave them in His capable arms. And watch and wait for the miracle. Because it’s coming.

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25