Reflection

Who am I?

At the core depths of me

When the mask falls away and I’m raw and exposed

Do I even recognize myself?

Who is that woman staring back at me in the mirror?

Do I believe the truths I’m declaring to myself, peering into those intent brown eyes?

Is what’s in my head actually transcending down into my heart?

I’m distinguishing between the identity I took on because I felt I had to be a certain way and the one that resonates with my spirit

That inner Holy-Spirit filled place that knows me, the true me, and has always known from the beginning

You see, I’ve existed since eternity and my Father knitted me together in my mother’s womb to grace the world with my presence for this specific time

He created me perfectly with His DNA for a specific purpose

He chose me!

Do you believe it??!

Do I believe it?

Yes, I believe I do.

In this season of stripping away and unlearning, I am becoming my truest self

I always was her, you see, deep down

I’m just aware of it now and allowing my Daddy to chisel away at the untruths and layers of false self

To reveal the shimmering, pristine beauty that lies within

He is patient with me, so patient

He gives me a say in this process

No forcing, just nudging

And He delves as deep as I allow Him to go

As I open my heart more and surrender a new piece of it, He re-opens a wound

But not to hurt me

Oh no, He allows me to feel the pain and acknowledge the hurt so that He can bring healing

I’m realizing the amount of things I stuffed down so deep

I locked them away and numbed myself and repeated “I’m fine” so much that I believed it

These neglected wounds are festering and affecting all spheres of my life

And when I allow Him to enter in, to the mess and the ugly and the pain and the stuff I don’t allow the world to see

He gently applies the salve and it hurts something fierce

But then, I am light and free and at peace

Healed and free to be my most authentic self

He loves me at my “worst” in my most vulnerable state where nothing is hidden

But, that’s just it!

It’s because He can’t and doesn’t see that version of me that I despise and am afraid of

When He looks at me: He sees captivating beauty, wholeness, perfection, His beloved daughter

So, I’m learning to see myself through His eyes

It’s a process and it’s hard but it’s beautiful and worth pursuing

We’re told to love our neighbor, but how can we love our neighbor if we don’t first love ourselves?

I look again into the mirror and lock eyes with the woman of God, steadily meeting my gaze

Those deep brown eyes, reflecting warmth and a calm knowing

 

I am loved.

I am chosen.

I am good.

I am enough.

I am beautiful.

I am bold.

I am persevering.

I am a warrior.

I have something to say and I’m gonna say it.

I belong.

I am confident.

I bring life and truth.

I am a Daughter of the King and He alone tells me who I am.